30 days until production begins. In a month, I will be on a set, directing my first film. I feel very good about it. I’ve worked long, hard hours preparing. I have an amazing team who have worked equally hard. I’ve got a great cast, two beautiful locations and enough money to see the project through completion. Naturally, I’m a bit nervous, that’s to be expected. But I am confident in my ability to direct this movie and there is not a doubt in my mind that it will turn out well. I do have a bit of a problem, though.
It’s essentially an unrelated issue, except it is tied into the production of my film. It involves the most important member of my team. I’ve been dealing with this for almost a year now and it is quite distracting. Compounding the problem is that there is no one with whom I feel comfortable discussing it. Not looking for someone to solve it per se, just someone to listen so I can get it off my chest. It’s so hard to carry this around alone.
I had a really good friend, a woman, who I talked to about it all the time. She and I got close, strictly platonic, but we confided in each other. There were things I told her that no one else knows, not even family. She moved. Her cell number is no longer working and she doesn’t answer my emails. I’m actually worried about her. I’m also left to deal with my problem alone.
I’m considering writing an article about it. Again, not expecting anyone to solve it, but it would feel good to get it out and I wouldn’t mind getting opinions. What worries me is that someone I know might see it. I would then have to enter the witness protection program. I couldn’t face anyone if they knew how I’m being affected by this. Especially the person it directly involves.
I have to think about this. Maybe I’ll throw it out there. I really don’t know what else to do.