One of the interesting side effects of making this movie is the exploration of the theme, “what constitutes romance”. The movie looks at how men and women view it differently It’s been difficult for me, because as I have previously stated, nothing I do or have ever done is ever viewed by any woman as romantic.
I’m fortunate to have my co-writer. She has been invaluable in helping me to figure this out. She has pointed out the fact that to women, romance doesn’t have to involve some big movie-type gesture. It can be small day to day things that show that a man pays attention and cares. Something still seemed off to me. Today, I believe I had a revelation.
For a long time, I’ve been aware of a basic, indisputable fact of life. People are superficial. All of us, men and women, and I certainly include myself in that. What do we want in a mate? The most important elements are thus: women want looks and money, men want looks and more looks. People dispute this all the time. They bring up things like sense of humor, being a gentleman, all kinds of nonsense. None of it is valid. Superficiality rules.
I was thinking about how many times I’ve seen a woman consider an act performed by one man to be romantic, but if another man performs the same act, at best she considers it “sweet”. It finally occurred to me. Einstein had it right. It’s all relative. If a man is physically attractive, pretty much everything he does will be considered romantic. I know that’s true because it works with other personality traits. Many times I’ve seen a really good looking guy telling a woman the stupidest, most hack jokes and she laughs hysterically.
It’s the same with romance. For those of us who are not good looking, there is nothing we can do. It’s all pointless. We will never be considered romantic. All those little helpful gestures that show we pay attention and that we care are merely “sweet” if they are even acknowledged at all. I know how cynical this is. I realize it’s depressing and for guys like me, not conducive to a happy life. Nevertheless, it’s the truth. I would rather face the truth and be miserable than be a grinning idiot who lies to himself.
It reminds me of what I’ve always said about myself. You know how there are some guys who think they are God’s gift to women? Well, I’m his party favor: funny and cute and you look at it and say, “Oh, that’s nice!” Then you take it home and throw it away.